March 27th, 2009
03/27/09
The past few days have been fun! I have begun a few projects. One is the beetle project. Every day I check these sacks of logs for insects. When I find them, I put them in alcohol, label the tag, and write the date. There are about sixty logs I’d say. The point is to see what kind of bugs live in various types of wood and how often they leave their nests.
How is that going? I’ve actually had some pretty terrifying realizations about human nature and I am not at all pleased with myself right now. Let me explain. I pull the beetle out—remove it from it’s home where it has been living a short, peaceful existence, not bothering anybody—just living life—as it has a right to. Then I come along. I kidnap the beetle, put him in a plastic bag and dowse him with alcohol. He swims…he swims harder…this is his life he’s fighting for. He swims harder still, limbs growing tired, energy dwindling fast. Desperate for a breath, he draws a deep breath and his lungs instantly become filled with alcohol. Burning, suffocating, giving up; Drowning in alcohol. Can you imagine? I can’t think of a more painful death…well, maybe drowning in flaming alcohol.
The first twenty murders made me cringe. My soul writhed inside me for each bug. What had I done!? I felt sorry for each life and was consistently cast into three long minutes of self-loathing after each death. I know what you’re thinking “Jesus Christ it’s just a bug!” but just because it’s body is smaller than ours, and there are millions of bugs in the world, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t find it’s life important. It has nerve endings too! If you couldn’t drown a cat in alcohol, you shouldn’t drown a beetle.
I couldn’t believe that I was capable of such cruelty, and all for the sake of what? For the sake of science? Or for the sake of reputation—which is even worse, even less noble. Do I do it because I am a guest? A representative? Why? I am disappointed in my ability to treat another life with such carelessness and cruelty, and in my inability to hold to my principles. What really disturbs me, however, is that after thirty bugs, it became easier, I hardly cringe anymore! My god, what am I capable of!? I’m scared of how ‘human’ I am. Human beings are the scariest creatures on earth. It’s frightening how fragile our psyche is. How easy is it to turn evil? I don’t know what to think. I feel like I have done some irrevocable, detrimental damage to my soul with this beetle project. I hope the beetles feel noble for their death in the name of science….
I have also begun planting ferns and various plants form the jungle around the trees on the campground. After the plants are relocated, I construct informative pages on each plant—documenting its name in Latin, Spanish and English, write where in the jungle it was found, its habitat etc… It’s quite a project because sometimes it involves trekking hours into the jungle to find a specific tree or type of leaf. Since there are so many green lush plants around, it’s not always an easy task. But this is no complaint—jungle trekking has become one of my most favourite activities!
I’ve also been helping Adriane with his butterfly project. He has barrels of dried butterflies he captured and dated to preserve. It is my job to flatten these butterflies and mount them on this styrofoam wall where they will dry flat and be photographable. What I do is put the butterflies in a small tuber-ware container, then I fill a bucket with about two inches of water and drop a few moth balls in there. I place the tuber-ware on top of the water and place a lid on it. The idea is that the water will evaporate, creating a humid environment for the butterflies. The point of all of this is to soften the butterfly wings so I can flatten them without breaking them. I am not allowed to touch the actual wings because any grease from our fingers totally ruins the wings, so mounting them is a very tricky endeavour full of pins and tape.
In addition to the beetle, botany and butterfly projects, I have been adding to the birds and mammals log book—meaning I go on excursions and note the animals roaming la jungla with me. That’s the best project of all, because I just get to explore the jungle by myself for hours.
I have been playing futbol y voli everyday. I was curious to see how poorly I played futbol and I forewarned them that if they were serious about winning they may not want to be on my team. To my shock—I made a goal the first day! Perhaps it was luck; perhaps I’m a baller. Who knows!? But I wasn’t terrible! I won’t say I wasn’t bad, but I could have been worse! I realized that in soccer I can be as good as I want to be. It all just depends on my effort, how motivated I am to try. Often, I’m not that motivated, but every now and then I get stoked and amped and my feet become profesh. It’s just like volleyball—I play as well as my mindset is. If I’m not focused in volleyball I suck, no lying. But if I really try and put my heart in it I can rock. I guess the same law applies to everything. Last night we had a miniature party because John Paul, Victor and Walter were leaving. I danced barefoot for hours. When they put on salsa music, I was lost. But when I heard that familiar hip-hop beat, all began to flow. It’s been quite the adventure here. It’s bound to get more interesting (lets hope not the opposite) ; )
Emma G.
03-27-09
The past few days have been fun! I have begun a few projects. One is the beetle project. Every day I check these sacks of logs for insects. When I find them, I put them in alcohol, label the tag, and write the date. There are about sixty logs I’d say. The point is to see what kind of bugs live in various types of wood and how often they leave their nests.
How is that going? I’ve actually had some pretty terrifying realizations about human nature and I am not at all pleased with myself right now. Let me explain. I pull the beetle out—remove it from it’s home where it has been living a short, peaceful existence, not bothering anybody—just living life—as it has a right to. Then I come along. I kidnap the beetle, put him in a plastic bag and dowse him with alcohol. He swims…he swims harder…this is his life he’s fighting for. He swims harder still, limbs growing tired, energy dwindling fast. Desperate for a breath, he draws a deep breath and his lungs instantly become filled with alcohol. Burning, suffocating, giving up; Drowning in alcohol. Can you imagine? I can’t think of a more painful death…well, maybe drowning in flaming alcohol.
The first twenty murders made me cringe. My soul writhed inside me for each bug. What had I done!? I felt sorry for each life and was consistently cast into three long minutes of self-loathing after each death. I know what you’re thinking “Jesus Christ it’s just a bug!” but just because it’s body is smaller than ours, and there are millions of bugs in the world, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t find it’s life important. It has nerve endings too! If you couldn’t drown a cat in alcohol, you shouldn’t drown a beetle.
I couldn’t believe that I was capable of such cruelty, and all for the sake of what? For the sake of science? Or for the sake of reputation—which is even worse, even less noble. Do I do it because I am a guest? A representative? Why? I am disappointed in my ability to treat another life with such carelessness and cruelty, and in my inability to hold to my principles. What really disturbs me, however, is that after thirty bugs, it became easier, I hardly cringe anymore! My god, what am I capable of!? I’m scared of how ‘human’ I am. Human beings are the scariest creatures on earth. It’s frightening how fragile our psyche is. How easy is it to turn evil? I don’t know what to think. I feel like I have done some irrevocable, detrimental damage to my soul with this beetle project. I hope the beetles feel noble for their death in the name of science….
I have also begun planting ferns and various plants form the jungle around the trees on the campground. After the plants are relocated, I construct informative pages on each plant—documenting its name in Latin, Spanish and English, write where in the jungle it was found, its habitat etc… It’s quite a project because sometimes it involves trekking hours into the jungle to find a specific tree or type of leaf. Since there are so many green lush plants around, it’s not always an easy task. But this is no complaint—jungle trekking has become one of my most favourite activities!
I’ve also been helping Adriane with his butterfly project. He has barrels of dried butterflies he captured and dated to preserve. It is my job to flatten these butterflies and mount them on this styrofoam wall where they will dry flat and be photographable. What I do is put the butterflies in a small tuber-ware container, then I fill a bucket with about two inches of water and drop a few moth balls in there. I place the tuber-ware on top of the water and place a lid on it. The idea is that the water will evaporate, creating a humid environment for the butterflies. The point of all of this is to soften the butterfly wings so I can flatten them without breaking them. I am not allowed to touch the actual wings because any grease from our fingers totally ruins the wings, so mounting them is a very tricky endeavour full of pins and tape.
In addition to the beetle, botany and butterfly projects, I have been adding to the birds and mammals log book—meaning I go on excursions and note the animals roaming la jungla with me. That’s the best project of all, because I just get to explore the jungle by myself for hours.
I have been playing futbol y voli everyday. I was curious to see how poorly I played futbol and I forewarned them that if they were serious about winning they may not want to be on my team. To my shock—I made a goal the first day! Perhaps it was luck; perhaps I’m a baller. Who knows!? But I wasn’t terrible! I won’t say I wasn’t bad, but I could have been worse! I realized that in soccer I can be as good as I want to be. It all just depends on my effort, how motivated I am to try. Often, I’m not that motivated, but every now and then I get stoked and amped and my feet become profesh. It’s just like volleyball—I play as well as my mindset is. If I’m not focused in volleyball I suck, no lying. But if I really try and put my heart in it I can rock. I guess the same law applies to everything. Last night we had a miniature party because John Paul, Victor and Walter were leaving. I danced barefoot for hours. When they put on salsa music, I was lost. But when I heard that familiar hip-hop beat, all began to flow. It’s been quite the adventure here. It’s bound to get more interesting (lets hope not the opposite) ; )
Emma G.
03-27-09
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